How You Can Start the Dialogue
Specific examples of what to say to your daughter, no matter her age, can be found in Your Daughter’s Bedroom. Learn the unintentional harm that can be done when we don’t offer them the information and emotional closeness to us they wish for.
Open a dialogue with your own daughter, and feel supported by the knowledge thousands of other mothers are doing the same.
Visit our Facebook page to share your stories, and to feel a part of a community of women all going through the same thing. Please don’t feel pressured to share any private or personal details. This is a community dedicated to lifting up and encouraging mothers as they start the dialogue with their daughters. We ask that you respect this as a community of support and not a place to debate the topic.
How Others are Starting the Dialogue
I haven’t been able to put Joyce McFadden’s book down–she is insightful, caring and brilliant in her writing. As a mother to two young daughters, Joyce has raised so many eye-opening issues and given me powerful new tools and language to address questions I hadn’t even considered before. As my four year old asked why daddies can’t have babies but mommies can I found myself explaining the wonders of the female body in a way I never would have known to discuss beforehand. I have been enlightened and empowered by her book. This is a discussion all mothers and daughters need to be having. And dare I say it, even though my mom and I have a magical relationship and she did it (mostly) right, I realized I myself still have so much to learn. Joyce, thank you for bringing this important body of work into our cultural dialogue, it is a gem!
Your book was the most engrossing, poignant and at times wonderfully difficult read I have come across in some time. Thank you for your insistence — and grace– in bringing these topics to the cultural conversation.
As both a mother and high school teacher, I would like to start a women’s support and discussion circle using your book as the guide. It has been my experience that the exquisite dance of raising an adolescent girl in such mind-boggling times is one that challenges mothers from every demographic. Your book, and your continuing work, is an essential tool in saving the girls, and healing the moms, too. Thanks, again!
I cannot say enough about the importance of this book. I am finished reading it, but don’t feel like I am finished. I want to read it again- and what I have read informs me every day. This is the only book that makes the connection between the overall confidence of girls and their sexuality. It is the only parenting book I have read which talks openly about sexuality beginning at birth. We live in such a puritanical society. The fact that the anatomically correct words for girls are taboo- and treated like curse words is a tragedy. Joyce McFadden helps us as moms to feel more confident to face this ugly reality and work to change it with our own daughters. I am amazed by how insidious sexism is and how we all feed right into it- without even knowing it. Joyce McFadden offers great tips on how to comfortably change our own ways in order to support our kids- without shaming us. She makes it seem easy. The book is also really important in pointing out how our relationships with our own mothers informs how we parent. Again, without shaming or judging- she simply brings about an awareness so that we can move forward in a healthy way. She also brings up the very taboo topic of masturbation and normalizes it for women. It is a treasure to read the realities of womens stories on this topic. I want to add that even though this is written about mothers and daughters, I have used the author’s wisdom in mothering my son and my husband is currently reading it. Joyce writes so clearly and beautifully- as if she is having a supportive conversation with each of us. She is humble and backs up her findings with stories from her clients and women in her study. It is fascinating and I couldn’t put it down.
This book answers so many questions regarding communication with a daughter. I was always so concerned about timing and answers to my daughter’s questions about sexuality. It is written with compassion and understanding and is very insightful. I have gained so much information with this book and feel so much more confident in discussing these issues with my daughter.
All women, not just mothers, can benefit from this book. Extremely well written and accesible, it brings a unique perspective to the way in which women view themselves, and helps explain the reasons our personalities develop the way they do. Many of us segregate our sexuality from the rest of our being, and this book helped me understand what an important role our view of our sexual self plays in our overall sense of self. I wish I had read it when I was younger, and I think it provides a missing piece for many women who have issues with confidence and self-esteem.
This book fills in a void in current writing about sexuality and mother/daughter relationships. As a mother and parent of a teen daughter and son I highly recommend this book to mothers and fathers everywhere. As a therapist, I think this is an excellent book for those of us working with folks who got the wrong messages regarding sexuality growing up. It is about time a book like this came along. Well researched and written. I hope this begins a dialogue in families of teens and especially between mothers and daughters for generations to come. This important dialogue should include a general understanding of sexuality and sexual development and passing down our understanding and experiences of our bodies and that sexuality is not something to be ashamed of, but celebrated and understood.